Nicole be Thinking...

How does the saying go...? "Give him too much rope, he'll hang himself..." I can't testify to the validity of that statement, but I can say that I tend to give my significant others a significant amount of space. I thought it was a good thing. Yet... here I am, as single as can be. It's not that I don't enjoy time with my mate. I definitely do. I can be incredibly affectionate. Sometimes I absolutely crave a good cuddle. But... There are times when I just want to be left alone. Or maybe I want him around for company but I don't want to get all... "touchy feely." Perhaps I'd rather be with the girls. I assume there are times when he feels this way to. I'm okay with that. So I let the proverbial rope go. I encourage my significant others to spend time with their friends, on their own, or... however. At first men love this: "Man... My ex was ALWAYS around. I couldn't go ANYWHERE. You're AWESOME." They go out, have their f...

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I love Twitter. It creates a two-way street between celebrities and fans that goes a step past an autograph. Sometimes it does create a really wack "celebrity by proximity" complex for groupies, but for the most part, my experience has been very positive. The experience has been so positive that there is a group of celeb tweeters that I love so much that I would love to marry. Following is a list of famous tweeters that I would (or have) proposed marriage to this year alone: @questlove. I've proposed to ?uestlove like… three times. He's a musician AND a music snob. He's a drummer. He's intelligent. He's an #angrybirds fanatic. He's the bomb. @jozenc. Jozen writes the blog Until I Get Married, and I love honest, creative men. He's a wonderful hybrid of ethnicities, an intelligent and mature man, and pretty darn cute. I had to create "ethnexy" to describe him. @MrDonaldGlover. Tro...

I'm pretty tired of dudes dictating what a woman should be or do. I also can't stand dudes who bash other dudes thinking it'll get them points with women. For this reason, I've never been a fan of Lyfe Jennings. Recently I slipped up, listened to the radio, and heard one of his songs, "Statistics." I felt my face frown. After all, this black man is going back to prison for a domestic dispute with the mother of his child. (Yes. Digest all that …) But for some odd reason, he feels he's qualified to "teach" a woman how to expose bad men and keep a good one. Hmmm… Let's look at his "rules." "RULE #1 - Don't be a booty call, If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl," For one, grown women are capable of having sex just to have sex. It takes two make a booty call happen. If he wants it and she agrees, guess what? That's consensual coitus between grown folks. Why do folks assume that women are ...

A couple days ago I was out with Michelle chilling. Enjoying things. A table of dudes happened to sit at the table next to us which was pulled to our table because of the previous party. One dude of the bunch is clearly trying to talk to me, trying to get in somehow. I'm not feeling him, not trying to start anything. ( I really don't like small talk.) But I'm cordial. I answer questions. I smile. All that crap. Then dude says, "Is that an iPhone 4? Can I see it?" Of course my answer is, "Yes. And absolutely not; I don't know you," and all of a sudden, I'm "mean" and his friends are telling him that he's "wasted enough of his pride" on me. Um… At what point did I become obligated to carry on a conversation with someone despite ALREADY conversing with the person with whom I'm dining ? Why do I have to engage a man simply because he's interested? And who decides what's "mean?" It's been my opini...

I was catching up on Twitter the other day and saw a retweet of a post from untiligetmarried.com entitled, " Just Because I Want to Sleep with You Doesn't Mean I'm Disrespectful ." I had been dealing with a situation the night before with a dude's whose attitude seems perfectly summed up in that title. I was prepared to hate it. Jozen Cummings, who is also the Senior Culture and Music Editor for Global Grind writes that "sex [is] the highest form of praise one can give another." Though he goes on to admit this is problematic because "each encounter must be evaluated … in context because sex is a lot of things," his main point is that sex, and his desire to have sex with a woman is never disrespectful: "Just because all I want to do is have sex with them, doesn't mean I don't respect all of the other great things they have to offer. […] I just don't care about what else they have to offer at the time I want to have sex with ...

First of all... I'm tired of this dismal picture of the successful black woman who is lonely because either she intimidates black men or no black men are "qualified" to be with her (since successful black women outnumber successful black men 3-to-1...) The successful black women I know are married, single because they want to be, or are lesbians. None of them are lonely or sad. None of them think that dating white men is "the answer" to their "problem." I read this little article, "Interracial Love Is the Answer for Black Women," and I disagree with it. What worked for the woman in the article may not work for other black women. I don't care what Oprah says about seeing what's out there. I don't believe that "black women are in a market failure." Having said all that, I'm not totally opposed to dating a white man. Seeing interracial couples does nothing to me. Folks find love where they find it, and that's co...

~Adele Listen! Wait, do you see my heart on my sleeve? It's been there for days on end and It's been waiting for you to open up Just you baby, come on now I'm trying to tell you just how I'd like to hear the words roll out of your mouth finally Say that it's always been me That's made you feel a way you've never felt before And I'm all you need and that you never want more Then you'd say all of the right things without a clue But you'd save the best for last Like I'm the one for you You should know that you're just a temporary fix This is not rooted with you it don't mean that much to me You're just a filler in the space that happened to be free How dare you think you'd get away with trying to play me Why is it everytime I think I've tried my hardest It turns out it ain't enough cause you're still not mentioning love What am I supposed to do to make you want me properly? I'm taking these chances and getting awa...

HELLO. fancy seeing you here! it's been a while. I've decided not to publish my old posts. instead I'm just going to notes forward like i never went awol. is that ok with you? i mean... you don't have a choice. =] anyway, here's what's on my heart right now. loving someone makes you change your entire out look. perhaps not the core of your being (... or it shouldn't), but how you apply your ideals, how you see yourself on in the scheme of things, your "bigger picture." all that changes. at least for me. reflecting on the last year of my life... maybe the last 14 months... I'm noticing some changes. i broke some of my "rules." i put myself in unpleasant situations. my expectations and goals have evolved. this is a little jarring for me. I'm a pretty self-aware gal. aside from probably looking different (i gained 10lbs, cut my hair, got a tattoo.) fourteen months ago i was a 21 year old college student. president of my Sorority. wor...

i had a really good weekend and it has led me to consider what terms like "soulmate" and "the one" really entail. this isn't a subject that i haven't already visited. in fact, i thought i had found mine. i was thinking about a convo i had with the hubby sasha about how you know that a man is the one. i said that i didn't know exactly but i thought my bf was the one because he knew me and accepted me. at the time he was the only male person i'd been involved with who i thought did that. in light of the way my current relationship is going and how that one ended, i have to question that definition. i wrote a blog a while ago about the definition of love and how it has changed for me every time i thought i was in it. i feel like that's what this whole "soulmate" concept is doing. obviously that boyfriend was not the one. and after appraising the relationship i'm not sure how i could have thought that. we've known each other since ...

there's a big chunk of my life that i'm not super sure about. i'm the type of person who likes to plan stuff out way in advance. even if i know it's not entirely plausible or even if in the end things didn't go as planned... i NEED that plan. it helps me sleep. it allows me to feel like everything is alright and under control [even if it's just a facade]. right now i feel out of control in my relationship. not in a super negative "we're about to break up" type way but... for me it's almost that bad. i also have a little update about the ex i decided to pardon. my boyfriend wants to go to the nfl. i've known for a while about his nfl aspirations. up until now i hadn't given it that much thought. i want to be with him. would love to marry him. but... football is what he does. if it's professional that will be his number one priority. am i prepared to be number 2? i don't know. this troubles me because for one, we don't know wi...

i have learned that my definition of LOVE changes every time i fall in it... i had this really mushy, really deep blog in me about my family... but i'll save it for a while... i've said it over and over again that it's amazing how much stuff changes in a few days... now... i have to be a little vague here to protect my... pride, i guess? but... in the past few days things have changed... actually it's been longer than some days... but sitting here thinking about it made me reflect on my past relationships and in turn make me realize that every time i've been in "love" i've had to concede that what i thought was love previously really wasn't! i'm gonna use one example here. when i was with greg i thought i was in love. at that time... i told myself that i had never been in love before, although i had been in a relationship that i thought at the time WAS love. i had to sit an re evaluate that. because nobody made me feel like greg did -- good and...

i few months ago, i posted this blog... i realize very few people read my blogs now as opposed to the entire staff at ECC like it used to be [shout out to my lovely exes at the ECC! love and miss yall HELLA much!] anyway... this was "all i need." i love how it still applies.... well... i think it's kinda neat that i still want what i want, but i guess in some ways it kinda sucks that i still WANT and don't have what i want... anyway... here it is. again. take notes, my lovelies! all i need is somebody nice. somebody who's not trying to fuck me... and i mean more than just sexually. someone's who's not trying to make a fool out of me, or trying to make me jump through hoops. i need somebody who's not constantly testing me for no reason. someone who isn't trying to control me. someone who doesn't think he's smarter than me. someone who doesn't want to use me. someone who isn't out to take away my pride. someone who likes who i already...

i like him, but i don't think that's enough. i have a weird feeling. my feelings are the same as they've been but his seem to have changed ever so slightly in the wrong direction. just... reviewing everything he's said to me... everything i think i know about him... and the way things are right now... he just seems slightly less interested. the problem with this is that my vibes could be wrong... i mean... how good can they be over text messages, right? but experiences have taught me how to READ read text messages. experiences taught me how to READ read people... i could totally be wrong. and i hope i am. but for the time being i just don't have a good feeling. i don't know what to do. i'm not sure how i end up in scenarios like THIS one. there's always the one i want but can't have. for whatever reason. distance, lack of interest, another woman, or all of the above. i just wish i knew for sure. i wish i had the foresight to see what i see when i loo...

I haven't thought about you since I cut you off... and here you go... trying to come back into my life. . I guess forgetting you is impossible since you took up so much time, but please believe I meant it when I told you I was done playing your game. we have a history that's not always pleasant. what you've done to me emotionally, you will never know. we can't be friends. not because I'm still in love with you [I definitely am not] but because I don't ever want to feel like I feel when I deal with you. you don't know me, but you think you do so you treat me like so. I respond accordingly doing things I don't do. being some girl I am not. you never blatantly disrespect me, but actions speak louder than words. I know from the way you talk to me. the way my thoughts don't matter. the way you demean everything I do. I can't have that. I'm better than that. you had to go so that I could stay. so that I could be who I am. I would do everything all ...

so.... i wouldn't be me if i didn't REALLY like some boy... i swear... i've been boy crazy all my life... always analyzing my feelings for SOMEbody... right now is no different... some circumstances are making me search for negative things about him. he doesn't live here. last time i was in a long distance relationship, it ended terribly. i'm not sure if in that particular relationship it was completely the distance that killed us, though... in this situation it think it COULD be done but i told myself i WOULDN'T do it... so who am i to break my own rules? i'm not sure where his heart lies... i know that he likes me. i'm positive that this could get physical very fast. buuuuut.... what about the rest of it? don't get me wrong... we're friends. we do actually talk. i'm just not sure what he wants... with me being uncertain about the distance thing, i'm not even sure what I want. i don't want anymore flings. i'm not sure a real rela...

he's like an old scab that I keep picking so much so that it never heals. it just bleeds and hurts. I leave it alone and the scab starts to grow and then I see it and I pick it again. I need to develop the indifference to let the scab grow and heal. it would be much easier if someone just shot him.

My eyes are green Cause I eat a lot of vegetables It don't have nothing to do with your new friend My eyes are green Cause I eat a lot of vegetables It don't have nothing to do with your new friend I don't care, I swear I'm too thru with you I am You don't mean nothing to me So go ahead and be with your friend My eyes are green Cause I eat a lot of vegetables It don't have nothing to do with your new friend My eyes are green Cause I eat a lot of vegetables It don't have nothing to do with your new friend I'm insecure But I can't help it My mind says move on My heart lags behind But I don't love you any more I'm so insecure Never knew that love did this Ooh, ooh I can't remember the last time I felt this way About somebody You've done something to my mind And I can't control it But I don't love you any more Yes I do, I think Loving you is wrong baby Ooh, ooh La-di-da Dum-dee-da-da Dum-didi-da-da-da Dum-didi-da-dum-di I'm so...

is somebody nice. somebody who's not trying to fuck me... and i mean more than just sexually. someone's who's not trying to make a fool out of me, or trying to make me jump through hoops. i need somebody who's not constantly testing me for no reason. someone who isn't trying to control me. someone who doesn't think he's smarter than me. someone who doesn't want to use me. someone who isn't out to take away my pride. someone who likes who i already am. someone who respects me. someone who appreciates and knows that people grow up and change and that you can't compare someone to who they were at 16 or 18 to who they are now. someone who doesn't hold grudges. someone who doesn't play mind games. someone who cares about me. someone who doesn't want to hurt me. someone who calls just to talk to me. someone who comes around even if i'm not going to give them something. someone who takes me out even if i'm not going to pay or leave a...

wooooooooooooow........... i haven't been here in a while... i've been here in nashville since august 15th... i'm not entirely happy, but i'm content. i'm ok with being here and doing what i'm doing for right now... i work at godiva chocolates and williams-sonoma. i love the godiva job. williams-sonoma, not so much but i love the store and the discount so i will stay until the holidays are over. nothing is really different here. i mean... i said it wouldn't be... and it's not. except that tricey's a mother now. lauren's pregnant and triflin'. ansley's m.i.a. but who cares. sasha's in memphis, on her way back here. so yeah... everything is like it was. greg is greg. and we have done nothing. but our chemistry..... it's there. it always will be. he runs from it but it's not going anywhere. i think he thinks that because i said i WOULD have sex with him again that i WANT to have sex with him again, which isn't true. but his e...

... but i've been too busy to blog. anyway, i've decided that i don't like boys who think they're thuggin... i know, i know... i've never liked them or even pretended to... it just seems like i'm getting attention from more of them lately and i feel like a few things need to be set straight. i DON'T like thugs - real or fake. the only thing worse than a nigga not going anywhere in life is one who's dead or in jail. i'm just not interested in that lifestyle. i don't care about what gang is doing what. i don't care how "real" you are. i'm not a fan of gold teeth. i don't like braids on boys. i DON'T like drug dealers. period. why the hell would i want to be bothered with that? once again... the only thing worse than a nigga not going anywhere in life is one who's dead or in jail. i DON'T like young boys, either. the young ones seem to be the ones caught up in the previously mentioned bullshit. it's not that i t...