Nicole be Thinking...

I have the flu. I can't sleep. I'm alone. And all that made me think about a lot of different things. My brain settled on the concept of "home." I don't feel at home anywhere. Nowhere. I moved out of my mom's house a while ago and since I don't feel like I could ever go back and live there, I can't really call it home. If I fell on hard times my mom may let me move in but it would be a problem. Her house is not my home. I gave up my apartment to move in with the man I might marry. But I didn't feel at home there either. I hated that apartment. A lot of that had to do with my car being broken into two weeks after I moved in. It was far away from everything. Like... Complete opposite direction from everywhere I wanted to be. I wasn't proud enough to have visitors. And before James entered the picture I spent most of my time away from there. Now I live in James' house. HIS house. Aside from the fact that a nuisance of a grown as man also occup...

james is at work. i'm all alone and i just realized the grammy's are on. here are my random thoughts... this coldplay song sounds nice but i have no idea what he's saying. and uh what the hell are they wearing? sgt. pepper 2.0. puff daddy with al b sure? carrie underwood. she's like who jessica simpson would be if she grew up, and was a little cuter and a lot smarter. AND she's like the only successful winner from american idol (where's kelly clarkson?) leann and sheryl look very nice. best country performance? is this country hour? stay... sugarland. have i heard this before? lots of commercials. i hate duffy. al green is cool. she sounds horrible. song of the year... viva la vida. coldplay again. sgt. pepper. told you. where's gwenyth? since when is kid rock a political country singer? no thanks. bathroom break. taylor swift and mylie cyrus. ick. should've held my water. best pop collaboration. hmmm... robert plant? that white guy with all that hair th...

james is too nice. and not just because i'm not nice at all. he's nice to the point of being an enabler. adam is a grown ass man who was james' roommate when he lived in an apartment and is his tenant now in his house. adam pays a very small flat fee every month (if he has it) to live here. he doesn't work. he's at home all day using electricity and water. eating food. enjoying internet access. all this is basically free to him; his "contribution" doesn't even come close to touching a bill. james let adam move in because he thought it unfair to leave him with all the rent in the apartment after he found his house sooner than expected. a "get on your feet" arrangement has been extended from one year to 2. his departure date went from february to may to "after he graduates." whenever the hell that'll be. james thinks it's good to help people. in fact this belief in doing well for other, regardless of reciprocity, is actually v...