Nicole be Thinking...

Fourteen years ago today, my third brother was born. He's my mom's son, and he looks a lot like Dad.

16 years ago today my second brother was born. He is my mother's son and I think he looks like me. Some time in third grade, my parents took me to Fresh Choice (the restaurant where I heard all of life's bad news at that age) and told me I was going to have a little brother. I'm not sure I was thrilled at first, but eventually I was. I did my science fair project on "how babies are made." When he came I fell in love with that little pink, peeling, awkward thing. He smiled for me first, laughed for me only. Slept in my room, shared his baby food with me. He is a dreamer. I'd love to harness his creativity (if I can ever get him to display it in full…) Most of the time I think he's nothing like I was at 16. He's not thinking about college, sometimes he's too quiet, I'm scared of his driving... But then he cracks a joke or starts humming and I see myself. He's sarcastic, witty, goofy. He quit me when he discovered cartoons and then girls, b...

19 years ago today, my first brother was born. He is my father's son and he looks just like Bigmama. I don't remember my reaction when I found out about him. My first memory of him is one of his first birthday parties. I remember when my mom took me to see his mom in the little apartment over by the lake. And I remember the first time they left. I was young that first time. In my mind there was just me anyway. I wasn't too affected when this new baby was suddenly gone. But it was totally different when they came back. They lived with my dad so I got to see him more often. We played together, ate together, stayed up late together. I remember walking with his mom to pick him up from Anna Yates Elementary. We bonded. He called me "Sister" like it was my name. In his way, he taught me about sibling pride. I had a brother. Then they were gone again. That was rough. There have been numerous times over the 14 or so years since I last saw him that my thoughts have tur...

11 years ago today, my last brother was born. He is my father's son. He looked a lot like Tonda as a baby, but he looks more and more like his mom as he gets older. Fourteen is an interesting age, especially for girls. Teenage drama was elevated when I found out my dad's too-young girlfriend was having a baby. I was not happy. At all. But whatever ill feelings I have for his mom melted away when I met Monte. He is the coolest kid. He does his own thing. All he requires is a McChicken and Judge Joe Brown reruns. He'll play with you, but he doesn't want you in his stuff. And when he's done playing, he bounces. Don't get it twisted, though. He's sweet and affectionate. When I had chicken pox, he laid with me everyday. His hugs (and all of Quentin Tarantino's movies) helped me more than the meds. He came early -- too early -- and he will need someone for the rest of his life. Our father is 100% committed to him and that's a great thing to see. One day...