Nicole be Thinking...

I've said it before: I enjoy Twitter. It gets me through long shifts at work, it gives me interesting articles to read, it inspires me to write. I like the people I follow. [Mostly.] They're like my favorite drinking buddies. It's great. However… In all its glory, Twitter provides a platform to people who don't deserve one, leaving me to throw up my hands, "grrring" at no one in particular. And so… I present to you 5 types of people who make me want to say, "Fuck Twitter."

Amber Rose for Complex So… There is this website that I would rather not endorse that is notorious for starting (mostly false) shit and posting leaked and/or doctored pictures of celebrities. This site always claims to have a "SUPER-DUPER-RELIABLE" source deep in whoever's "camp." Well, recently some "reliable" source sent this site some graphic pictures of Amber Rose supposedly sent to Nicki Minaj's boyfriend. Amber used Twitter to explain that the 2-and-a-half-year-old pictures got into the hands of a former employee by dishonest means and sent them to blog sites. Not intended for anyone's boyfriend (except probably her own), the pictures were on her laptop, which this former employee used frequently. She says she wouldn't leak pictures like this because she "[has] so many young girls that look up to [her]" ( @DaRealAmberRose ). Immediately after the site posted the pics, the judgment began. Some comments: "...

So... My mom called me the other day about my Beyonce/Shakespeare post. She didn't understand my position, which is cool. But she petulantly proclaimed, "You only write for yourself!" It bothered me because in the seven years I've been writing this blog my mother has read maybe seven posts. My inner rebellious 16 year old told me, "You certainly don't write for her…" and fidgeted awkwardly… Being misunderstood is nothing new to me, but it always stings more when it's from my mother about my writing. But really… What's so bad about writing for my myself? When I started this blog in 2004, it was intended to document a pivotal time in my life . It grew into an outlet to help me deal with my crazy ass roommates and a  dramatic boyfriend . Eventually it became the way I conversed with the world because for a while I was only talking at work. Now it's a mix of all those things. Mostly I write to work through a question or issue I have. Someti...

Earlier today, Shadow and Act pointed out that She's Gotta Have It turns 25 this year (Hey! Me too!). Their post focuses mainly on the strides (or lack thereof) blacks have made in film. Struggles with ratings and sexual representation seem to have dissipated until you reeeally think about… [Shadow and Act challenges us to name Hollywood movies released last year that features blacks being affectionate with blacks. Can you?] I really like She's Gotta Have It . I was going to watch it after reading Shadow and Act, but I have it on VHS and no longer own a VCR (weird, I know…) I grew up mostly as an only child and movies were my older brothers and sisters. Clueless had me thinking that I'd drive a Jeep, like older dudes, and go to the mall to recover from bad grades (and… well… I do.) School Daze made me believe that college was a magically musical and political place (and… yeah… it sorta is.) Similarly, She's Gotta Have It (though flawed) served as a model of black ...

(from Gail Hill) On Monday, December 06, 2010, my son was escorted by police officers upon entering his school and held in the Hillsboro High School auditorium for TWO hours for being TARDY. He missed TWO classes and was made to sign a form affirming a "new" policy that requires him to bring a note for any absences. As far as I know, the note for absences has always been the policy. Further, my son was not absent; he was tardy. My husband was told that this sweep and holding process is a new, district-wide policy. This is a problem! Is it policy for Metro police to be at the school for tardy students? My son is a good student with no discipline problems. My husband, his father, was told he “probably got caught up," implying this is nothing to be concerned about. We should all be concerned! Why are these students being criminalized? If my son has an issue with tardiness, notify me. Don’t waste two hours of a school day sitting in the auditorium waiting for the OK to go to...

(from C. Michelle Wilkerson) I’m writing to you regarding the recent forced resignation of Ms. Lisa Howe. Until today, I had always been proud of my association with Belmont. I was the recipient of the William Randolf Hearst Scholarship, I was an active member of the student community, and two years ago I graduated with a degree in Entrepreneurship. I cannot believe that the same institution that helped to mold me into the professional I am today is responsible for such a blatant act of bigotry and hate. I am disgusted, at the very least. As an active alum, I would like to know who is responsible for deciding that Ms. Howe was in some way violating university policy. Who made her feel so uncomfortable that she was forced to resign? I want the persons responsible to step up and be recognized for the bullying bigots that they are. You should be ashamed for what you have done. How do you rest at night knowing that you are the reason that this expectant mother is now without a job? Appa...

I'm pretty tired of dudes dictating what a woman should be or do. I also can't stand dudes who bash other dudes thinking it'll get them points with women. For this reason, I've never been a fan of Lyfe Jennings. Recently I slipped up, listened to the radio, and heard one of his songs, "Statistics." I felt my face frown. After all, this black man is going back to prison for a domestic dispute with the mother of his child. (Yes. Digest all that …) But for some odd reason, he feels he's qualified to "teach" a woman how to expose bad men and keep a good one. Hmmm… Let's look at his "rules." "RULE #1 - Don't be a booty call, If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl," For one, grown women are capable of having sex just to have sex. It takes two make a booty call happen. If he wants it and she agrees, guess what? That's consensual coitus between grown folks. Why do folks assume that women are ...

I am not going to pay for another Will Smith movie until he proves that he can actually act. Now... before you get all defensive, go look at his filmography. Will's 20+ movies fall into one of three categories: - Movies in which he saves the day/world/people - He fights aliens, robots, or bad guys (sometimes sacrificing himself) to save humanity. - Sequels to movies in which he saves the day/world/people - Men in Black 3 is scheduled to be released in 2012. End of the world, indeed... - Feel-good flicks - In these movies he's usually himself as someone else (think Ali ) Will has three characters aside from the character he played in Six Degrees of Separation : - Himself - in most movies he is a charming, witty, funny, handsome ladies man who is terribly loveable. - Himself, tormented by some secret/affliction/skeleton in his closet - he starts off disliked or at odds, but by the resolution of the film, he is back to himself (because he's saved the world, of...

I don't like stupid people. This is nothing new. It is important to note here that I'm not talking about people who simply don't know ; they can be taught. No one knows everything. But.. I have a huge problem with people who refuse to know, or those who relish in their ignorance. That automatically makes you stupid. As a customer service representative, I deal with people all day and I'd say about 15% of them are stupid. It's a relatively small number considering how many calls I take, but it has made me sensitive to other instances of stupidity around me. For example... I love watching Parking Wars. It cracks me up. However, I think I watched too many episodes last night because it was starting to get on my nerves. People are always telling the ticketers to get a real job as if they aren't receiving a real paycheck... Arguing with them is pointless. People, you know when you do wrong. Common sense tells you that you can't park on the sidewalk or where ...

A couple days ago I was out with Michelle chilling. Enjoying things. A table of dudes happened to sit at the table next to us which was pulled to our table because of the previous party. One dude of the bunch is clearly trying to talk to me, trying to get in somehow. I'm not feeling him, not trying to start anything. ( I really don't like small talk.) But I'm cordial. I answer questions. I smile. All that crap. Then dude says, "Is that an iPhone 4? Can I see it?" Of course my answer is, "Yes. And absolutely not; I don't know you," and all of a sudden, I'm "mean" and his friends are telling him that he's "wasted enough of his pride" on me. Um… At what point did I become obligated to carry on a conversation with someone despite ALREADY conversing with the person with whom I'm dining ? Why do I have to engage a man simply because he's interested? And who decides what's "mean?" It's been my opini...

Facebook and Twitter nomenclature has screwed up regular face-to-face interaction. This idea of "friends" and "followers" has gotten a little misconstrued. And since we are clearing the air this week, I thought I'd help you understand... In the early days, your Facebook friends were... your friends. They were people who attended your college, or nearby colleges, that had the potential to become friends. As more colleges were added you began to have Facebook friends that you knew from high school and earlier. Then they opened the site to high school students, so now your kid cousin is your friend. Now anybody can join, so all your coworkers are requesting you. Being in contact with someone you once knew is a great thing, but make no mistake, ALL of these people aren't your friends. Your friend count is 1,428. Can you have drink and genuine conversation with all of them? Twitter eliminated all the baggage that comes along with being someone's "friend...

If you know her at all, you know her as Kat Stacks. You probably hate her. I wanted to know why so I followed her on Twitter for a week to see if I could gain some insight… Her background is familiar … Basically she's a little girl lost. Been on her own since a young age, doing what she can for money, somehow got into urban modeling and music videos. Something pissed her off and she took to airing out young rap's dirty laundry. She notoriously "screwed the entire Young Money crew" then started posting YouTube videos featuring their private phone numbers and addresses. You may not agree with her, but here are 5 ways Kat Stacks is just like you... 1. Cash Rules Everything Around Her She's motivated by money. She has successfully found a way to make her name valuable. People call her a groupie and hate her, but she is making money off of what she's doing. Having sex for money is prostitution, but aside from that… she is in demand. Clubs want her to host partie...

The Boondocks lost me with their last episode and they are officially adding to the ignorance of this younger generation. I understand the episode was taken from an MSNBC segment from a few years ago. Believe it or not, most of the words are verbatim. Starting the episode this way made me think it would be more about pedophilia, but then again, I was focused on To Catch a Predator , not the man raping Chris Hansen. Anyway… I have three main problems with this episode: the homophobia that has become a Boondocks staple, the misogyny, and the glorification of prison. The episode starts by saying that Tom is a "friend of the gay movement," but he has a fear of going to prison and being anally raped. What does that fear have to do with being a "friend of the gay movement?" Is Tom afraid of random gay men raping him? No. Does Tom think all gay men want to rape him? No. He has a very specific fear. What does it have to do with being a "friend to the gay movement?...

We all have our own little place in society. Our niche, our lane, our job. Confusion, frustration, stress, fights, all that shit would be reduced dramatically if people did what they were hired to do and let other people do what they were hired to do… There's a server at my job who is always complaining. Every time I look up, he's at the door greeting patrons, getting menus, telling me what table to take them to, warning me about other servers being inattentive or slow. He's not management. He's not a hostess. Just a server. Granted… Restaurants run best when it's a team effort, when everyone works together. So some degree of "looking out for one another" is necessary. But people need to worry most about doing their own job. My job is most stressful when too many people are telling me what to do and I don't have the proper tools because those people aren't doing their jobs. It works the same way in every job I have had. There's always...

I had plans to respond to last night's Boondocks episode today, but I was teaching... then I was working out... then I was on a field trip. So... It'll be posted tomorrow. Until then, I'd like you all to read up on blacks and prisons in this country since so many of you think it's funny... Slavery and Prison - Understanding the Connection (Kim Gilmore) The Social Functions of Prisons in the United States ( Bettina Aptheker ) Masked Racism: Reflections on the Prison Industrial Complex ( Angela Davis ) Women in Prison: How It Is With Us ( Assata Shakur ) Enjoy...

People are upset about the Boondocks' characterization of Tyler Perry and his work. In a recent episode of The Boondocks, called "Pause," Aaron McGruder and his writers attacked Tyler Perry personally, professionally, and spiritually. Since people are ignoring the scene between Riley and Granddad about the importance of saying "no homo" because "If it sounds gay, it's gay," and "How [will anybody] know you not a homo if you don't say 'no homo?'" I can only assume that that's all perfectly fine and dandy. Let's focus on the critiques of Tyler Perry instead. The episode pissed Tyler Perry fans off, to say the least. Twitter was all abuzz with folks on both sides of the action going at the other. The problem is… Tyler and Aaron have two different, yet equally ignorant, fan bases. My light bulb went off and it hit me: the two can't have an intelligent discourse about their opinions because they don't understand ...

Those of you who know me know that I have had a million jobs and I can do a million things. Before last December, I had never worked in a restaurant. I figured being a hostess couldn't be that hard. The majority of my positions have been in customer service, so I'm very comfortable dealing directly with the public. How hard can it be to take people to tables? Not hard at all. However… Some patrons are determined to make my time at work pure hell… Sometimes people do things without realizing it. I am a firm believer that I can't necessarily expect someone to perform the way I want them to if I haven't shown them how. SO… As a courtesy, a fair warning before I go the hell off… Here are five little things to plant into your brain for the next time you dine out: If a hostess seats you at a specific table, it is for a reason; stay there. Part of a hostess's job is spreading out the crowd evenly over the sections of the servers. When s/he chooses a ta...

As a hostess at a restaurant, I see lots of men going to ridiculous lengths to please women… I ask [what I think are] simple questions and dudes go crazy: "Would you mind sitting on the patio?" "Oh, uh, um… Well… I don't know. It might be too cold for her…" "Do you want to sit at the bar?" "Wow… The bar? It's up to you, honey." "The wait is 20 minutes." "Whooooa! 20 minutes?? I need to ask her first." The looks of panic I have seen in response to my [basic] questions would have you thinking I made an indecent proposal… Seriously dude? Is it REALLY that serious? Just make a decision! This awkwardness alarmed me, so I consulted my favorite expert on masculinity, my biological dad. He blamed the weirdness on "crazy feminists" who demanded to be allowed to make their own decisions. He says women want to have it both ways: they want to be in charge, but they don't want to be held accountable. He claims a...

...how to write and format works cited page? Granted… MLA was revised in 2009 and different disciplines use different style guides, but how do you make it without it looking at least familiar to you? …how to write [or even recognize] a thesis statement? We learned about topic sentences and thesis statements early on. Topic sentences guide paragraphs and thesis statements guide entire papers. I mean… That's the basis of every paper I write. The three-part thesis statement is the essay formula I was given. How can it be that you were ever asked to write an essay without being taught how? …anything about ANY black writers? I'm not talking about knowing full bios. I'm not saying you have to have even read anything by one. But what's your excuse for not recognizing Maya Angelou? I mean… She was in Poetic Justice ! …how to use the index of a book? The professor gave a list of terms and said they're all in the textbook, though not all of them are highl...

So… My dad has a problem with me not supporting "black" movies. More specifically… He wants me to support Tyler Perry movies. I can't get with Tyler because I'm tired of seeing black men in drag. He's promoting this image of a black woman devoid of any femininity. We're just the same as a man except we wear dresses? Get out of here. Also… His favorite storyline is problematic. All of his movies include a woman who needs to be saved. Usually she's saved by a man from chaos of her own creation. That's hella wack. Daddy claims the "black" movies I won't go see, I'd go see if they were made by white people. About that… A lot of these "black" movies I'm supposed to support WERE made by white people. Your favorite black movie probably wasn't directed by black people. Or… If it was, it wasn't funded by black people. Tyler Perry does that well. I can't knock his hustle. Aside from that… He's wrong. I don’t like...