Nicole be Thinking...

I listen to a lot of talk radio. Aloysius stopped letting me play cassettes so I can't listen to my iPod in the car and I can't take 92Q or 101The Beat for too long... NPR is boring at times. And some conservative hosts piss me off, but I enjoy the experience much better than listening to Soulja Boy say "hopped up out da beeeeeed turn my swag oooooon..." or the dude who spells Jeremiah incorrectly talk about birthday sex. Anyway... they've been talking about the Supreme Court ruling about the firefighters in New Haven. The case isn't that complicated to me. The New Haven Fire Department wanted to promote people in the most objective way so they had an outside firm draft a test. When they administered it, all 27 black people (out of 118 people) who took it failed. In anticipation of some backlash, the fire department decided to throw out the test and they didn't promote anyone. They're saying they did this because of Title V...

I have been boycotting BET since my second year in college. I used to enjoy it a lot. I liked watching videos. I also loved BET News and BET Tonight and Teen Summit. Teen Summit went off the air some time in high school and the other shows just kind of faded. They were replaced with a slew of other, more socially damaging programming aimed at a younger demographic. I came to realize that BET was no longer for me. Moreover, it didn't represent me. More still, it allowed for people unfamiliar with black people to lump me with people I was nothing like. BET wasn't always offensive. Bob Johnson founded BET in 1980 as the "black" answer to MTV. It became a large and profitable black-owned business of which to be proud. The programming was diverse and original and featured people who looked like me and my family. It also show different sides of black culture. There were the videos of course (which is another discussion of depreciating quality for another ti...

Unless you've been under a rock since December, "Bernie Madoff" should sound familiar to you. And unless for some reason you didn't watch any news yesterday (shame on you), you know that he was sentenced to 150 years in prison for his crimes. Bernard Lawrence Madoff was born in 1938 into a Jewish family in Queens. He became a stock broker in 1960 when he opened Bernard L Madoff Investment Securities LLC. He started his firm with $5,000 and by the time of his arrest he had swindled about $65 billion out of investors. Huh? What'd you miss? Five things/connections I didn't know. Did you? : 1. According to his sons and the plea deal they made, Bernie confessed his scheme to them after they questioned how he could possible afford to give early bonuses when he couldn't pay returns to investors. They took this information to their attorneys and worked out a deal to turn Bernie in to the Feds. He was arrested the next day. Bernie says he started h...

By now you know that Michael is gone. I was going to try to do this really long and meaningful post for him, but I don't think it's really necessary. He was special to everyone. His music changed music forever. His videos changed video forever. His dancing changed dance forever. He is the paradigm. Your favorite artist owes his/her career to MJ. Had it not been for him, they wouldn't be on MTV. Had he not made Thriller album expectations wouldn't be do high. Michael is the bar. And that will never die. Honestly my first thought when I hear "Michael Jackson" is that "Man, it's hella funny to me that I was afraid of him." And then I think about all the music. If you choose to think of him as "Wacko Jacko" you're missing the point. I won't indulge in any gossip or pass any judgment. Not because you're not supposed to speak ill of the dead, but because it didn't matter to me when he was alive. I've always preferred to ...

if you know me, by now you know that I was afraid of Michael Jackson when I was little. This video scared me a lot so I haven't tried to watch it since I was young and I've never seen the whole thing - until now. I'm gonna watch the video as my own small memorial. But.... I need yall to watch it with me. You know, to comfort the 5-year-old inside. =]

Watch this . =]

Aloysius is home!!! yaaaaaaaaaay! i have my baby back and he works. all the things i thought would work do . his epilepsy is now more like a tipsy wobble every now and then but i don't have to brake on the freeway to gain control of my vehicle. they replaced the instrument cluster and fixed the electrical problems. the balanced and rotated the tires. he said that i put too much fix it flat in one of the tires and that was a bad thing. he also said that i'll need new tires like... next month and both of those things are contributing to the wobble. i am happy with the service i received. yall don't understand what a BIG deal this is... Aloysius has been to a lot of shops. it's very important to me that i get good service because i usually end up spending a large chunk of my hard earned money with these businesses. the Mr. Transmission folks have been awesome and accomodating from jump. i haven't gotten that everywhere. and i didn't have to pay some outrageous pric...

If you've been following along, you know that I took Alo to the shop on Monday to get him check out. I got news about what was up and gave the go ahead to fix it at a price I could live with. At first I thought I was getting him back Monday but I forget what happened and I thought I'd get him yesterday.  Well... The instrument cluster they ordered came late. And then it didn't work. So they had to keep him another day. I am not getting my hopes up. I am still happy with Mr. Transmission. The service I've gotten gas been great. They have kept me informed the whole way. And they haven't tried to stick me with a ridiculous bill. Honestly I'd only rescind my recommendation for Mr. Transmission if I got Alo back and he was worst (which was the case when I took him to Hansen Chrysler-Jeep, which is now closed ... the bastards).  Anyway. Fingers still crossed. Irritated that I'm still relying on others and working on someone else's time but... It could be so mu...

I'm at home. I'm not feeling well physically or emotionally. It's been a very gross day. I've been in bed watching CNN aaaaall day because I'm not sure where the remote is and I really don't feel like getting up to look for it. Aside from covering the saaaame shit all day, CNN has had some really stupid stories. And aside from covering stuff about which I care not, they're covering stuff that's not news and in some cases they're doing it in a biased way. First, they've been doing this story about this black kid who plays classical music as sort of a teaser for their Black in America 2 show. You already know how I felt about the first show and I'm afraid the next one will be more of the same. This story annoys me because I'm beginning to think that the country is just plain stupid. I mean really... What's so novel about a black kid doing classical music? I understand that some institutionalized racism may keep blacks out of major sym...

I can't think if his name and CNN hasn't told me yet but I'm watching him say that he's been missing because he's been with his mistress in Argentina.  1. He told his staff he'd be one place and he went somewhere else. That was his first mistake. He shouldve told his staff where he was going. That way no one would say he was "missing" and wouldn't have to look for him.  2. He really didn't need to hold this press conference to expose his infidelity. He really didn't need to hold a press conference at all. He was back from vacation and we all knew he was safe. What more did he owe anyone but his wife.  Politics annoy me. He already said his wife was aware. And her responses to questions about where he was make sense now. But she wasn't worried because HE WASNT MISSING. These folks done wasted a perfectly good press conference on some shit that we didn't need to know. Ugh. 

dude. I love this song but I hadn't heard it since my early youth so I don't know what it was about... Arrested Development was deep. Brand new mama, I understand It's hard as hell being a young mother and you need support your conscious told you not to abort so to your child you're a hero of some sort But, hey, the worst is over You're ready to do this I got faith and your baby renewed this faith that everything will be fine Now an adult, no more youth time [Anytime you need help sister] We'll be there just give us a ring We will help you raise that king Word to the mother cause it's a black thing I respect you in a strong way Super late nights cause your baby slept all day but mama don't sleep, your life's a turning page Mama's always on stage (4x) Hey, let me guess, you're bored Wanna get loose, attack the dance floor Cool, I'll hold her, you have a good time I'll keep your baby awake so baby sleeps after nine This is reality, we n...

everyone was talking about "death of autotune" when it first came out. i decided not to at first but after listening to my ipod and wondering "whatever happened to..." after every other song i've realized some things... i like originality and substance. i enjoy swag and braggadocio, too. a small pocket of my brain likes misogynistic shit, too. (like i've said before "baby bend over" is one of my FAVORITE songs...) i don't like overtly sexual crap. i don't like people trying too hard to be different just for the sake of being different. i don't really like the souljah boy rap geared toward preteens but i'm not mad at it. i'm bored with stripper songs. i think i'm too young to be a true hip hop head but i love rap and r&b and i've been a lover since my dad bought my first walkman in 2nd grade. i, too, am frustrated by the turn the industry has taken.   however, having said all that, i don't think ...

Welcome to the first Terrible Tuesday Profile. It's Tuesday and I really don't want to be at work, so it's not really a good day. Also, for some reason, when I got here I started reading about J. Edgar Hoover and it was interesting. So interesting that I decided to share with you. I'm gonna try to make this a weekly thing. A terrible person every Terrible Tuesday. And.... I guess I can try to be fair and include terrible people of color. But if it starts to look like they're all white... well... hey... I don't make this stuff up. I was just born here... =]   J. Edgar Hoover was the first director of what we know as the FBI for 37 years. Before that, he was the sixth director of its primitive predecessor.  Like most white guys who end up with government jobs he was a lawyer, a member of a secret society, power hungry, and vindictive. He never married or had kids. In fact, his estate was left to a "close friend," one time FBI associate di...

OK. So... my little $75 did turn into more. Turns out there's a problem with Alo's instrument cluster. In order for them to fix it (with labor, parts, and a tire balance and rotation included) it'll be $485.58. That number is a hell of a lot better than $800-$1200. He seems to think that all of the electrical problems come from there, including the converter thingy he was telling me about on Saturday. And wouldn't you know it... Alo's current cluster was discontinued yeeeears ago. The guy found a used newer one that fits. Fingers crossed there.   He thinks Alo's epilepsy is because of my tires and the balance and rotation that he's throwing in should remedy that. I'm skeptical. If the problem were that simple, every Jeep wouldn't have it, I don't think. But I'm not a mechanic. I think it's worth it to see what happens when he fixes the electrical issues. It seems like A LOT of problems were tied to this busted cluster mes...

I just left Aloysius with a mechanic from Mr. Transmission. He dropped me off at work with expectations to have him back by lunch time. I'm having some anxiety because I can't just walk outside to get change if I need to, aaand I'm having some frizz issues with my hair and I can't readily just leave to go fix them. Also, the mechanic on the way over was telling me I have a bad tire and that's causing the shaking. He started talking about some oil light that my car doesn't have (but apparently should because he says I need oil). I'm also worried that the nice little $75 deal might turn into a $200 because he worked for more than an hour or something.   Being away from Alo because he's in the shop is nothing new, but today I'm feeling extra nervous. I'll let you know how it goes...

I'm not one to talk about how God has blessed me because I believe that one's spirituality is personal and not everyone believes in God or the same God or MY God. But I believe that having my step father, Daryl Anthony Hill, in my life has been a real blessing. This is not to say that LaMonte Williams didn't contribute to who I am because without him, of course, the miracle that is me would not have happened. But he knows he wasn't always a good father. He may not fully realize how I have suffered for his maturity but he can concede that my step father certainly filled in a large gap when he was unable. Daryl came into my life when I was 5. My mom married him when I was 9 and the rest is history. For a little girl whose father was absent for the most part, Daryl did a huge a thing. Though our relationship has been a roller coaster, he gave a me a stable and responsible male figure to measure my suitors against. His support (along my mother's wisdom) taught me that I...

So... I've been really sad about Aloysius. I really think sometimes it's jut too hot outside for him. And I cant turn on the ac because it makes the battery go down and he car stops. The violent shaking has gotten worse. Yesterday the car stopped on the freeway. When it did run, I couldn't go more than a few feet without having to brake to stop the shaking.  I began to read that most Jeeps have this problem. An a friend told me he go a quote and it would cost $800-$1200 to fix the shaking. KBB says that Aloysius is worth $1675 IF he's in fair condition (which I doubt is the case). I couldn't justify spendig all that on him so I began to look into buying a new car.  This morning I decided to at least get a quote of my own. (Really I wanted to know what was worth fixing in order to sell it.) I took Alo to Mr. Transmission on Gallatin. The guy's name is Joe I think and he was sooo nice -and I love when white folks are genuinely courteous to me.  When I got there he...

so... chuck likes to urge people to have babies so she can go to baby gap and gymboree and buy cute little things for cute little people. my bio-dad keeps telling me he's ready to be a grandfather. both of them are always met with ire of the strongest kind: "STOP FUCKING ASKING ABOUT BABIES! HAVE YOUR OWN! I DON'T CARE ABOUT you BEING READY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" it's a sensitive subject for me. to the contrary, i definitely do. ideally i will be married. we will be stable. and he will want kids, too. our kids will be semi-planned, meaning that, while i might not run around having crazy sex when i know i'm ovulating, the funds and space for my kids will be there when they are. i will not struggle. finding out i am pregnant will not be devastating, "i-have-a-big-decision-to-make" news. i will be ready. right now, none of that is true. i'm 23. i can take care of myself juuust short of comfortably. i'm not married no matter how much ...

[ raphael saadiq]   you see, baby. i ain't goin nowhere, no. i'm just gon wait on you. girl, i swear.   i'm here when you need me, you know should know. i can always listen cause girl you're my baby. this thing that you're going through, just do what you gotta do and love will show you the rest, girl.   how much time do you need to solve all of your deeds? cause i can go for a ride. now tell me one thing please. nobody will shuffle me cause we just might have a chance, girl.   i will wait on you my dear. even if it takes a thousand years. i believe that love will see us through. but for right now here's what we gon' do...   my friends say i'm slippin over you. i wonder how they knew. but i guess i'm hope every night. i still have visions of you. no other girl will do. shit i just got to kiss you   and i know this can't be the end. we gotta be free from sin. at least we can try. but here's what we gonna do cause i un...

i think it's been a week or so since tvone aired tavis smiley's stand . the commercials for the show featured tavis on a bus with cornel west, west's brother, michael eric dyson, dick gregory, and some other black men travelling through the south talking about race and politics. i was excited about watching this. although i don't like tavis and michael eric dyson is like nails on my chalk board, i respect cornel west and i expected a new, anti- black in america point of view with some solutions. what i got was none of the above, worse, and disappointing. i tweeted during the show and wasn't really going to blog about it, but i read melissa harris-lacewell's take on it and i wanted to add my 2 cents, too. it seemed to me that the entire point of the doc was to in authenticate barack obama as a black man and good president. tavis smiley has been hating on obama for a long time. it's probably one of the reasons he left the tom joyner morning...

forbes has named angelina jolie the most powerful celebrity of the year. oprah is number 2. now, i'm not an angelina basher, nor am i an oprah lover, but i am definitely scratching my head on this one. according to forbes, the list is a measure of power based on money and fame. money is the easy one to figure, but fame is measured based on google hits, mentions on lexisnexis and factiva, and the number of times the celeb was on the cover of a consumer magazine.   even with their formula, i'm having a hard time putting angelina in the top spot, especially over oprah. for one, forbes notes that oprah was the top earner over all with $275 million. uh... angelina supposedly stands to make $27 million from kung fu panda and a yet-to-be-released movie. she's not touching oprah's earnings. at all. and their formula for fame is suspect. google hits might be relevant. but really... oprah's fan base doesn't have to google her. oprah.com is probably the...