Nicole be Thinking...

Amber Rose for Complex So… There is this website that I would rather not endorse that is notorious for starting (mostly false) shit and posting leaked and/or doctored pictures of celebrities. This site always claims to have a "SUPER-DUPER-RELIABLE" source deep in whoever's "camp." Well, recently some "reliable" source sent this site some graphic pictures of Amber Rose supposedly sent to Nicki Minaj's boyfriend. Amber used Twitter to explain that the 2-and-a-half-year-old pictures got into the hands of a former employee by dishonest means and sent them to blog sites. Not intended for anyone's boyfriend (except probably her own), the pictures were on her laptop, which this former employee used frequently. She says she wouldn't leak pictures like this because she "[has] so many young girls that look up to [her]" ( @DaRealAmberRose ). Immediately after the site posted the pics, the judgment began. Some comments: "...

Back when I realized that I couldn't call myself a Beyonce fan anymore, I got all nervous that somehow I was losing apart of myself (or some crazy quarter-life crisis bull) and I decided to immerse myself in Beyonce to find out what happened (similar to the way I tried to understand Kat Stacks …) I discovered some things in the process. For one… Her diehard fans are ridiculous. They can't see her objectively at all. They don't listen to music; they listen to HER music, and that seems to snatch their ability to think analytically. They believe her lyrics, print them out, bind them, and regard them as holy. It's hard to read reviews written by these fans because they call her "ahead of her time" right before they compare her to some old artist. They post "BEYONCE IS THE GREATEST, BITCH," on threads about the wackest songs for no reason and with no supporting evidence. At numerous points in this process I tried to use logic on this group thinking...

I arrived too early. I sat nervously stirring the ice in my water thinking maybe I could create a wave and let it swallow me. "We need to talk," were the words. The days had been lonely and long enough to create an impressively large gap between us. "I love you," had been the bridge, but neither of us dared to cross it anymore. This meeting wasn't a surprise. Our eyes met and immediately rejected each other. I returned focus to my water as if to erase the sighting. Only I noticed the offensive noise the chair opposite mine made when its legs weren't allowed to pick their feet up from the floor to move. "Oh, hey," The overly polite waitress came back before my displeasure was able to linger. "Jack and Coke, please." She'll have it right out. There was a smile, awkward, unmoving. "Let's cut the bullshit." Words spewed onto the table. "I think we need to see other people. Or… at least n...

I was watching Oprah Behind the Scenes . I must admit, I haven't been a fan of Oprah's show for a very long time. I haven't been able to relate to most shows. And that's still the case. But Behind the Scenes is VERY interesting. There's something about watching Queen Oprah sit at this beautiful desk with Stedman's glamour shot on it... Something humanizing about hearing this black woman who brand is both her own and 100% co-opted by white people exclaim in her "black" voice, "I ain't sleepin' outside!" Of course, she's still "on," but it's refreshing. Anywho… There's an episode about her most recent George W. show. She had him on back in 2000 (and probably voted for him them.) Realizing the power of her influence, she makes a point to note that she has voted republican as many times as democrat. That got me wondering if I'll ever be able to say the same. After all… My grandmother is a registered republican,...

Get it. Now .

A while ago I realized that maybe I had outgrown Beyonce's music. And I know… That's not a big deal. But as a loyal Destiny's Child fan, the thought of not supporting "one of my own" is worrisome. (And, yes, I was looking for that Anjel release, and I support Kelly and Letoya in their solo endeavors. No comment on Michelle.)  So imagine my horror when Beyonce released some wack singles. After the third one, I was willing to admit to myself that I'm no longer a fan. I was prepared to ignore 4 the same way I had ignored I Am… That is… until a tracklist surfaced and I saw an Andre 3000 feature… (and y'all know how I feel about 3 Stacks…) Officially, 4 doesn't come out in the United States until tomorrow, but here are the thoughts of someone who's been unofficially listening to it for too long... "1 + 1" - I'm not feeling this ballad that much. I missed the "American Idol" performance , but I saw the rehearsal f...

How does the saying go...? "Give him too much rope, he'll hang himself..." I can't testify to the validity of that statement, but I can say that I tend to give my significant others a significant amount of space. I thought it was a good thing. Yet... here I am, as single as can be. It's not that I don't enjoy time with my mate. I definitely do. I can be incredibly affectionate. Sometimes I absolutely crave a good cuddle. But... There are times when I just want to be left alone. Or maybe I want him around for company but I don't want to get all... "touchy feely." Perhaps I'd rather be with the girls. I assume there are times when he feels this way to. I'm okay with that. So I let the proverbial rope go. I encourage my significant others to spend time with their friends, on their own, or... however. At first men love this: "Man... My ex was ALWAYS around. I couldn't go ANYWHERE. You're AWESOME." They go out, have their f...

16 years ago today my second brother was born. He is my mother's son and I think he looks like me. Some time in third grade, my parents took me to Fresh Choice (the restaurant where I heard all of life's bad news at that age) and told me I was going to have a little brother. I'm not sure I was thrilled at first, but eventually I was. I did my science fair project on "how babies are made." When he came I fell in love with that little pink, peeling, awkward thing. He smiled for me first, laughed for me only. Slept in my room, shared his baby food with me. He is a dreamer. I'd love to harness his creativity (if I can ever get him to display it in full…) Most of the time I think he's nothing like I was at 16. He's not thinking about college, sometimes he's too quiet, I'm scared of his driving... But then he cracks a joke or starts humming and I see myself. He's sarcastic, witty, goofy. He quit me when he discovered cartoons and then girls, b...

So... My mom called me the other day about my Beyonce/Shakespeare post. She didn't understand my position, which is cool. But she petulantly proclaimed, "You only write for yourself!" It bothered me because in the seven years I've been writing this blog my mother has read maybe seven posts. My inner rebellious 16 year old told me, "You certainly don't write for her…" and fidgeted awkwardly… Being misunderstood is nothing new to me, but it always stings more when it's from my mother about my writing. But really… What's so bad about writing for my myself? When I started this blog in 2004, it was intended to document a pivotal time in my life . It grew into an outlet to help me deal with my crazy ass roommates and a  dramatic boyfriend . Eventually it became the way I conversed with the world because for a while I was only talking at work. Now it's a mix of all those things. Mostly I write to work through a question or issue I have. Someti...