A Few Rules for Dining Out...

Those of you who know me know that I have had a million jobs and I can do a million things. Before last December, I had never worked in a restaurant. I figured being a hostess couldn't be that hard. The majority of my positions have been in customer service, so I'm very comfortable dealing directly with the public. How hard can it be to take people to tables? Not hard at all. However… Some patrons are determined to make my time at work pure hell…

Sometimes people do things without realizing it. I am a firm believer that I can't necessarily expect someone to perform the way I want them to if I haven't shown them how. SO… As a courtesy, a fair warning before I go the hell off… Here are five little things to plant into your brain for the next time you dine out:

• If a hostess seats you at a specific table, it is for a reason; stay there. Part of a hostess's job is spreading out the crowd evenly over the sections of the servers. When s/he chooses a table for you, it's probably that server's turn. There is also the possibility that the hostess is saving the table you have your eye for a larger party. Perhaps s/he needs to push that to another. If you'd rather sit somewhere else, ask the hostess to move or put in that request before s/he seats you. It may not be a problem. But never get up and move yourself.

• Similarly, don't ignore the "See the Hostess for Seating" sign and seat yourself. My restaurant hasn't always had a hostess. At first, the hostess wasn't there regularly. Now, there is a hostess Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night, and for brunch on Saturday and Sunday morning. Even if you don't know that schedule, even if you're used to coming to my restaurant and seating yourself, there is a sign posted that tells you to wait to be seated. It's posted at every entrance. How rude are you to bypass that?

• Don't be a bitch to the hostess. There are a lot of things to consider when seating a party: party size, server sales, table size, wait time, kitchen holds, floor manager advice, etc. You, lovely diner, are not the only diner in building. When you put your name on a list to be seated, and the hostess gives you a wait time, don't start bitching about how long that is. Don't try to negotiate. Don't get snotty. I hate to say it, but that poor impression will make your wait time longer.

• Don't try to bribe the hostess. This goes hand in hand with the previous item. There's a lot going on, and you aren't the only one who needs to be served. There is no amount of money that can make a table appear where there isn't one (unless you build one…). Also… Attempting to bribe the hostess might appear to be admirable or funny or acceptable to some, but to me, it make you look like an ass. You can be patient like everybody else.

• Don't hover around the hostess. I don't have a lot of space a my restaurant. Whereas most hostesses you see have a nice podium, I have the end of a bar and a clipboard. A step in any direction will put you in someone's way. Once you give a name for your party, go ahead and step back. You don't have to hang out right there. Even if you're at a restaurant where there's a hostess stand, you should move so that other patrons can see and be seen. And… It's cool to check in, but don't ask if you're next EVERY time the hostess seats someone else.

• My honorable mentions are really simple… Don't stalk tables; that's my job and it's creepy when you do it. And don't sit at a dirty table. I hate when I say, "You can sit there when it's clean," and people just walk to it. We aren't able to put our best foot forward when you sit somewhere we haven't fixed for you.

Really… I think this stuff is common sense. It all boils down to common courtesy. I know the people who do these things probably won't change. (And they probably don't read my blog.) There are people who have never worked in the service industry, so they aren't sensitive to what the people at work are dealing with. There are also people who are just snotty, who feel like the customer is always right and the people working are servants. As the restaurant staff, we are there to provide you with the best dining experience possible. I am there to make sure you get a clean table that can accommodate your party. If you work with me, everyone will be happy. =]