so... chuck likes to urge people to have babies so she can go to baby gap and gymboree and buy cute little things for cute little people. my bio-dad keeps telling me he's ready to be a grandfather. both of them are always met with ire of the strongest kind: "STOP FUCKING ASKING ABOUT BABIES! HAVE YOUR OWN! I DON'T CARE ABOUT you BEING READY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" it's a sensitive subject for me.
to the contrary, i definitely do. ideally i will be married. we will be stable. and he will want kids, too. our kids will be semi-planned, meaning that, while i might not run around having crazy sex when i know i'm ovulating, the funds and space for my kids will be there when they are. i will not struggle. finding out i am pregnant will not be devastating, "i-have-a-big-decision-to-make" news. i will be ready.
right now, none of that is true. i'm 23. i can take care of myself juuust short of comfortably. i'm not married no matter how much i'd like to be. my relationship is not stable. and though he does want kids, finding out i'm pregnant right now would be devastating to both of us if i decide to keep it. i cannot in good conscience bring a person into the world right now. not into my current situation; it's not right.
i have a problem with so many people my age not taking these things into consideration. a lot of my anger and frustration towards them end up going to chuck and bio-dad perhaps unnecessarily (they're so persistent and annoying though...). i've felt this way since i started high school and bumped into my first ever pregnant classmate. my feelings got stronger over 4 years of having the daycare in my high school and being in classes where mothers would use their kids to get out of or disrupt my class. after high school when former classmates started having a baby a year, i got even more frustrated. when the number of baby showers invitations i received began to out number the wedding invitations, i decided that i wasn't attending anymore baby showers unless there was a wedding first.
i don't know how many girls i graduated with have children now. what i do know is that 2 from my personal circle have children. all my female cousins around my age have kidS (more than one). none of them are married. i don't think any of them have any plans to get married, either. i don't like that this is what my generation has become. i don't like that it's people so close to me. i don't like that it reflects on me. when my best friend got pregnant 2 years ago, everyone swore i would be next.
perhaps i'm being unfairly judgmental. maybe i'm being too harsh. i'm sorry if you're in this situation and this offends you. i'm not trying to push my beliefs on you. and i'm not really saying that if this is you, you're immoral, wrong, or whatever. i just think this whooole situation says a whooole lot more about where we are and where we're going as a people. and i can't get with that. i feel like we owe it to our kids to stop vicious cycles and this is one in our community.
it all rubs me the wrong way. so... PLEEEEASE don't roll up on me asking about kids. and will you please pass this message on to my damn daddy and crazy chuck? =]
to the contrary, i definitely do. ideally i will be married. we will be stable. and he will want kids, too. our kids will be semi-planned, meaning that, while i might not run around having crazy sex when i know i'm ovulating, the funds and space for my kids will be there when they are. i will not struggle. finding out i am pregnant will not be devastating, "i-have-a-big-decision-to-make" news. i will be ready.
right now, none of that is true. i'm 23. i can take care of myself juuust short of comfortably. i'm not married no matter how much i'd like to be. my relationship is not stable. and though he does want kids, finding out i'm pregnant right now would be devastating to both of us if i decide to keep it. i cannot in good conscience bring a person into the world right now. not into my current situation; it's not right.
i have a problem with so many people my age not taking these things into consideration. a lot of my anger and frustration towards them end up going to chuck and bio-dad perhaps unnecessarily (they're so persistent and annoying though...). i've felt this way since i started high school and bumped into my first ever pregnant classmate. my feelings got stronger over 4 years of having the daycare in my high school and being in classes where mothers would use their kids to get out of or disrupt my class. after high school when former classmates started having a baby a year, i got even more frustrated. when the number of baby showers invitations i received began to out number the wedding invitations, i decided that i wasn't attending anymore baby showers unless there was a wedding first.
i don't know how many girls i graduated with have children now. what i do know is that 2 from my personal circle have children. all my female cousins around my age have kidS (more than one). none of them are married. i don't think any of them have any plans to get married, either. i don't like that this is what my generation has become. i don't like that it's people so close to me. i don't like that it reflects on me. when my best friend got pregnant 2 years ago, everyone swore i would be next.
perhaps i'm being unfairly judgmental. maybe i'm being too harsh. i'm sorry if you're in this situation and this offends you. i'm not trying to push my beliefs on you. and i'm not really saying that if this is you, you're immoral, wrong, or whatever. i just think this whooole situation says a whooole lot more about where we are and where we're going as a people. and i can't get with that. i feel like we owe it to our kids to stop vicious cycles and this is one in our community.
it all rubs me the wrong way. so... PLEEEEASE don't roll up on me asking about kids. and will you please pass this message on to my damn daddy and crazy chuck? =]
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