For Christmas, I received a $150 gift card for Macys pretty much for the sole purpose of buying a dress. So… I looked for a dress. I spent h o u r s in Green Hills and Cool Springs. Nothing caught my eye. Frustrated and cursing the day I laid hands on a Macys gift card, I went online. Lo and behold, I found a dress. It was December 30 so I called the 800 number to ask about overnight shipping. I mean… I had this big ole gift card and the dress was on sale. I don't really shop at Macys so I figure I might as well spend it all on shipping.
The sales rep told me that Macys overnight shipping is really 2-day shipping since it takes 24 hours to process. Then she said I'd get the dress on Friday. I asked, "…the first?" To which she replied, "Yes. Friday, the first." And that was that. I figured I'd wear some other dress for New Years Eve and wear this dress for Michelle's birthday dinner. Everything would be fine.
Friday rolls around and I don't have the dress. I was reminded that January 1 is a holiday. Of course. Exasperated, I found something else to wear to Michelle's dinner. I went ahead and blamed myself for ordering a dress and expecting it to be delivered on a holiday. Oh well. It'll come Saturday.
Saturday came and went no dress. Definitely won't come on a Sunday. Monday. No Dress. Tuesday I decide to call. Yeeeah… I shouldn't have expected it to come on a holiday, but what about these other days? I still paid for expedited shipping. I should get… expedited shipping.
In their quest to provide me with "outstanding customer service," Macys refunded part of the cost of shipping. Ok. Fine. They did ship it. I didn't have it, but the did ship it… Later on that Tuesday, I received the dress. Excited, not really caring that I no longer had a place to wear the dress, I tried it on. It was too big. Hey, shit happens. Surely an exchange will be easy…
I called to do the exchange. The lady I spoke to told me she processed the exchange right then and I didn't have to fill out the exchange form that came with the dress. Then… a sentence later, told me I should go ahead and fill it out just to be thorough. Ok. Done and done. I filled everything out and too it to the UPS store that same day. Return label on it, exchange form filled out. That was January 5.
Since January 5, three things have happened. First… I found the dress. In my size. Hanging on the rack. In frickin Dillards. Just sitting there. Waiting for me. Screaming, "Macys! You're waiting on Macys?? Frickin idiot!" But I ignored it. Thinking… My dress is on its way. I don't have anywhere to go. I have all the time in the world for them to send it to me this time...
Second… Yesterday I received a merchandise credit in the amount of $16.33 from Macys. I figured that was shipping refund. Cool. I'll just put that on the gift card I have and give that junk to my mom. I was still a little salty about spending hours in the store only to find a hella cute dress online that they don't sell in the store… But whatever.
And third… Today I received another merchandise credit. This one is for $91.37, the cost of the dress. My first thought: what.the.fuck? Where's my dress??? I went straight to my phone and called Macys. I explained the situation to the sales rep. I didn't have my order number so she looked everything up by my address. She told me that she saw in the system a note from the warehouse asking if I wanted the smaller size. Um… yeah. Isn't that what the exchange form said? Isn't that what the woman put in the system when she "processed" my exchange?? I can feel the patience leaving my body like the souls did in Ghost.
She starts apologizing for the inconvenience and telling me that she'll fix it, have the correct size sent to me, refund ALL the shipping AND send me a $35 gift card. I tell her, "I don't want a gift card. I want my dress. And who's paying for this? What am I supposed to do with this merchandise credit?" She puts me on hold. Comes back and tells me the merchandise credit is only good in stores, not online or by phone so I needed to provide another method of payment, and did I want to put it on my Macys card?
My brain can't take it. "Ain't this a bitch," just flew out. I couldn't help it. Then I cleared my throat. "The dress isn't in your stores so… not only will I have to pay you again for the dress, but I also have a $107 credit in a store that I couldn't find anything in to begin with?" She was so polite, "Yes ma'am, it seems that way. I'm sorry." Just as I exhaled and was saying "It's not your fault. What else can we do?" My phone dropped the call. Perfect.
So far, I'm irritated, but I hadn't given up on Macys yet. I called back. I got another woman. I gave her my address and she found my info and said she worked in furniture and she saw that I had purchased a dress. She transferred me. I sat on hold for 9 minutes and 8 seconds before I got a dude with a thick accent.
This dude asked for my name and my zip code and the issue. I explained the issue. He told me he couldn't find my order. "Well, the last two ladies were able to find it with my address. Would you like that?" I offered.
This asshole tells me, "No. I should be able to find it with the information you gave me."
So I take a deep breath and he types a little more. "When do you say you ordered this dress?" I gave him the date. "No… no… Um… do me a favor. Go into your email and get your order number." My brain says, "Who the fuck is he talking to?" but I keep it together.
"Sir, I don't have access to my email right now. You're the 3rd person I've spoken to and the last 2 people were able to look up my info by address. Would you like that?" I'm still trying to be polite, but my patience left a while ago.
Then, he gets a little indignant, "My system won't look it up by address. Your order number is in the confirmation email you got after you claim you ordered the item." Whoa. So now I claim I ordered the dress. Ok.
"I just told you I don't have access to it. I know your system can do it with an address because 2 people did. If you can't, put somebody else on the phone. Do you want the address or not?"
"No, um, Miss Williams. I just need your order number so that I can take care of this issue and provide you with outstanding customer service."
"Put somebody else on the fucking phone."
He put me on hold for about 2 minutes. Then he came back on the line and did that "hang up mid sentence so the caller thinks s/he was disconnected" thing. I know ALL about that shit. Used it all the time myself. Needless to say, by now I'm pretty pissed. Nothing has been accomplished AND this fucker just hung up on me. So I called back. Would you believe…? The recording said customer service is closed.
CLOSED?!?!?!?!?!? *&^%$ #$%^&*^!!!! I YELLED out loud.
I hope they all have their Wheaties tomorrow morning because I'm going to get what I want.
The sales rep told me that Macys overnight shipping is really 2-day shipping since it takes 24 hours to process. Then she said I'd get the dress on Friday. I asked, "…the first?" To which she replied, "Yes. Friday, the first." And that was that. I figured I'd wear some other dress for New Years Eve and wear this dress for Michelle's birthday dinner. Everything would be fine.
Friday rolls around and I don't have the dress. I was reminded that January 1 is a holiday. Of course. Exasperated, I found something else to wear to Michelle's dinner. I went ahead and blamed myself for ordering a dress and expecting it to be delivered on a holiday. Oh well. It'll come Saturday.
Saturday came and went no dress. Definitely won't come on a Sunday. Monday. No Dress. Tuesday I decide to call. Yeeeah… I shouldn't have expected it to come on a holiday, but what about these other days? I still paid for expedited shipping. I should get… expedited shipping.
In their quest to provide me with "outstanding customer service," Macys refunded part of the cost of shipping. Ok. Fine. They did ship it. I didn't have it, but the did ship it… Later on that Tuesday, I received the dress. Excited, not really caring that I no longer had a place to wear the dress, I tried it on. It was too big. Hey, shit happens. Surely an exchange will be easy…
I called to do the exchange. The lady I spoke to told me she processed the exchange right then and I didn't have to fill out the exchange form that came with the dress. Then… a sentence later, told me I should go ahead and fill it out just to be thorough. Ok. Done and done. I filled everything out and too it to the UPS store that same day. Return label on it, exchange form filled out. That was January 5.
Since January 5, three things have happened. First… I found the dress. In my size. Hanging on the rack. In frickin Dillards. Just sitting there. Waiting for me. Screaming, "Macys! You're waiting on Macys?? Frickin idiot!" But I ignored it. Thinking… My dress is on its way. I don't have anywhere to go. I have all the time in the world for them to send it to me this time...
Second… Yesterday I received a merchandise credit in the amount of $16.33 from Macys. I figured that was shipping refund. Cool. I'll just put that on the gift card I have and give that junk to my mom. I was still a little salty about spending hours in the store only to find a hella cute dress online that they don't sell in the store… But whatever.
And third… Today I received another merchandise credit. This one is for $91.37, the cost of the dress. My first thought: what.the.fuck? Where's my dress??? I went straight to my phone and called Macys. I explained the situation to the sales rep. I didn't have my order number so she looked everything up by my address. She told me that she saw in the system a note from the warehouse asking if I wanted the smaller size. Um… yeah. Isn't that what the exchange form said? Isn't that what the woman put in the system when she "processed" my exchange?? I can feel the patience leaving my body like the souls did in Ghost.
She starts apologizing for the inconvenience and telling me that she'll fix it, have the correct size sent to me, refund ALL the shipping AND send me a $35 gift card. I tell her, "I don't want a gift card. I want my dress. And who's paying for this? What am I supposed to do with this merchandise credit?" She puts me on hold. Comes back and tells me the merchandise credit is only good in stores, not online or by phone so I needed to provide another method of payment, and did I want to put it on my Macys card?
My brain can't take it. "Ain't this a bitch," just flew out. I couldn't help it. Then I cleared my throat. "The dress isn't in your stores so… not only will I have to pay you again for the dress, but I also have a $107 credit in a store that I couldn't find anything in to begin with?" She was so polite, "Yes ma'am, it seems that way. I'm sorry." Just as I exhaled and was saying "It's not your fault. What else can we do?" My phone dropped the call. Perfect.
So far, I'm irritated, but I hadn't given up on Macys yet. I called back. I got another woman. I gave her my address and she found my info and said she worked in furniture and she saw that I had purchased a dress. She transferred me. I sat on hold for 9 minutes and 8 seconds before I got a dude with a thick accent.
This dude asked for my name and my zip code and the issue. I explained the issue. He told me he couldn't find my order. "Well, the last two ladies were able to find it with my address. Would you like that?" I offered.
This asshole tells me, "No. I should be able to find it with the information you gave me."
So I take a deep breath and he types a little more. "When do you say you ordered this dress?" I gave him the date. "No… no… Um… do me a favor. Go into your email and get your order number." My brain says, "Who the fuck is he talking to?" but I keep it together.
"Sir, I don't have access to my email right now. You're the 3rd person I've spoken to and the last 2 people were able to look up my info by address. Would you like that?" I'm still trying to be polite, but my patience left a while ago.
Then, he gets a little indignant, "My system won't look it up by address. Your order number is in the confirmation email you got after you claim you ordered the item." Whoa. So now I claim I ordered the dress. Ok.
"I just told you I don't have access to it. I know your system can do it with an address because 2 people did. If you can't, put somebody else on the phone. Do you want the address or not?"
"No, um, Miss Williams. I just need your order number so that I can take care of this issue and provide you with outstanding customer service."
"Put somebody else on the fucking phone."
He put me on hold for about 2 minutes. Then he came back on the line and did that "hang up mid sentence so the caller thinks s/he was disconnected" thing. I know ALL about that shit. Used it all the time myself. Needless to say, by now I'm pretty pissed. Nothing has been accomplished AND this fucker just hung up on me. So I called back. Would you believe…? The recording said customer service is closed.
CLOSED?!?!?!?!?!? *&^%$ #$%^&*^!!!! I YELLED out loud.
I hope they all have their Wheaties tomorrow morning because I'm going to get what I want.
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