april has always been a bad month for me. i don't know why. this month has been the most stressful financially. me and kye kinda fizzled. i had some weird mix of sinus issues and bronchitis. some kind of way i'm supposed to put everything back together and have a good birthday and rest of the year.
my finances got out of whack this month. i had car trouble. i didn't make as much on the last check in march. i didn't stick to the rent and bill paying plan and then i took a ridiculous amont of time off because i was sick [more in a few] so now the last check of the month will suck which will take bad fortune into may. on top of that, i'm going to california in 2 weeks. guess i won't be shopping and stuff like i had planned to... and now i'm contemplating whether i should get the rental car because gas is hella expensive and i just don't know if it's worth it. ugh... i hate april.
kye and i stopped talking right around the time he had his pro day. he has a bad case of senior/nfl/neo-itis. his whole life has become Omega Psi Phi, NFL aspirations, and graduation. all this is good, but as i wrote last time i blogged, i'm not good at being second. imagine how well i cope with being... uh... what am i? 4th? well... this all blew up when i was sick for a week [more in a few] and i talked to him once and received about 3 text messages from him the entire time. my greeting went from "good morning beautiful!" to "morning baby" to "good morning" to ..... nothing. i know he's busy, but i obviously have no place in his life. if this is how it is now, imagine how it will be when he's actually in the nfl and is really away for a long period of time with bitches and niggas telling him he doesn't need me... right now i don't know where we are. certainly not together. and he can't formulate a satisfactory solution to the situation so it is what it is and i have to wrap the gauze around my heart, rebuild my brick wall, and move the fuck on. damn, i hate april.
anytime the weather changes i get really congested. my sinuses are always some kind of messed up now. last week this sinusitis hit and i was utterly miserable. around day 4 of this usual 7 day battle, my chest started hurting. my mom said it could be bronchitis. i was skeptical since i didn't have a cough at all. and then i was a work and it literally hurt to breathe. i couldn't really sit up without my chest hurting. so i called the doctor and she prescribed some antibiotics. i watch mystery diagnosis entirely too much to be having some random symptoms and trying to work through them myself. i was off work for 4 days after that. which leads me back to the financial issue i'm about to have going into may. i fucking hate april.
there are some things to be happy about, i guess. i am taking a trip to california. and oh how i do miss california. my birthday is coming up. i'm alive and breathing [although it is slightly labored]. i had an interview at a bank so hopefully i can quit these 2 jobs and just have one that pays more and will allow me to work daytime hours. i think i can get things back under control as soon as i get back from california. i'm determined to have a good year i just need to get through april. =[
my finances got out of whack this month. i had car trouble. i didn't make as much on the last check in march. i didn't stick to the rent and bill paying plan and then i took a ridiculous amont of time off because i was sick [more in a few] so now the last check of the month will suck which will take bad fortune into may. on top of that, i'm going to california in 2 weeks. guess i won't be shopping and stuff like i had planned to... and now i'm contemplating whether i should get the rental car because gas is hella expensive and i just don't know if it's worth it. ugh... i hate april.
kye and i stopped talking right around the time he had his pro day. he has a bad case of senior/nfl/neo-itis. his whole life has become Omega Psi Phi, NFL aspirations, and graduation. all this is good, but as i wrote last time i blogged, i'm not good at being second. imagine how well i cope with being... uh... what am i? 4th? well... this all blew up when i was sick for a week [more in a few] and i talked to him once and received about 3 text messages from him the entire time. my greeting went from "good morning beautiful!" to "morning baby" to "good morning" to ..... nothing. i know he's busy, but i obviously have no place in his life. if this is how it is now, imagine how it will be when he's actually in the nfl and is really away for a long period of time with bitches and niggas telling him he doesn't need me... right now i don't know where we are. certainly not together. and he can't formulate a satisfactory solution to the situation so it is what it is and i have to wrap the gauze around my heart, rebuild my brick wall, and move the fuck on. damn, i hate april.
anytime the weather changes i get really congested. my sinuses are always some kind of messed up now. last week this sinusitis hit and i was utterly miserable. around day 4 of this usual 7 day battle, my chest started hurting. my mom said it could be bronchitis. i was skeptical since i didn't have a cough at all. and then i was a work and it literally hurt to breathe. i couldn't really sit up without my chest hurting. so i called the doctor and she prescribed some antibiotics. i watch mystery diagnosis entirely too much to be having some random symptoms and trying to work through them myself. i was off work for 4 days after that. which leads me back to the financial issue i'm about to have going into may. i fucking hate april.
there are some things to be happy about, i guess. i am taking a trip to california. and oh how i do miss california. my birthday is coming up. i'm alive and breathing [although it is slightly labored]. i had an interview at a bank so hopefully i can quit these 2 jobs and just have one that pays more and will allow me to work daytime hours. i think i can get things back under control as soon as i get back from california. i'm determined to have a good year i just need to get through april. =[
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